When all the pieces fit together...

Finally my life is going good.  Im trying hard in school.  it sucks (as it should).  I got a  job at an engineering company. It is excellent opportunity and it's a great company to be apart of.  Don't get me wrong - I am very happy about it.  I just don't know why I don't feel happier.  I feel kind of empty.      It seems like my life is falling together,finally, and I should be happy. My dad has been having clean scans from his cancer (he had osteosarcoma in his upper jaw).  My room is clean.  Everyone in my family is doing well.  No one is terribly sick.  We have had no major incidents, well since my grandma's funeral.      I just feel that I should be happier.  I should feel something more.    Am I broken?   My life is falling together finally.   What's wrong with me?   I know this is just a stage. Once I begin my job I hope that it changes.  Routine always helps. Plus the sense of accomplishment.  It will be awesome.  and fun.  and good.

About My Mother's Day

Hey There! So this post about Mother's Day is later than I said it would be...but hey.  Better late then never.  :)   I made her a card with this lovely kit she had gotten for...no good reason. Because My mom is awesome.

And with this loverly kit I made her card!   Front: 

Inside:

  Back:  

    I also made her this cake with two circle pans and icing in between.  Then I decorated it.  :)    

   And I also bought her some roses and put them in a vase.

I put the flowers and the card on her nightstand when she was in the shower.  she really enjoyed it.  
And that is what I did for my mother on mother's day.

Curious as to How Depression Feels?

An Anonymous writer on Thought Catalog wrote a lovely article about what it feels life.  Here is a link to it. 

I would recommend reading it.  Especially if you struggle to understand it about someone else. Or describing it to others.

Christmas, Round Two

Well, this Christmas was unique.  This was the first Christmas without my Uncle, and also without my Grandma. 

The Surviving Uncle who isn't blood related...was quite the character.  He had gotten a few beers into him.   And well.  His lack of a filter was a lot worse than usual.  Last night an amber alert was put out for a 20 year old mother and her 17 month old son because they were kidnapped by three men wearing hoodies.  All five were Black.  Thankfully the Woman and her son were recovered a few hours later.  When were talking about this incident while preparing the food and a few people were hanging out in the kitchen, he exclaims "oh, you mean that [n-word]."  I mean really.  Who in this day an age uses that word?  I know he was raised with a racist family, but at this point it is his choice to not talk better.  So there was that and his terrible jokes, no one really finds that funny.  My cousins laugh at him when he's telling it because of the ridiculousness.

Christmas went on, eating dinner, cleaning up, my aunt doing dishes.  She continued doing dishes whilst the presents were opened.  Speaking of presents, my Uncle got us a nice bottle of Champagne, worth $150! it is just insane.

After my aunt left with her husband and super awkward son, it was nice hanging out with my cousins, Tom, Kathleen, and John, My Aunt Chris, and My Uncle Dave.  Oh, of course my direct family too.  We had a fun time just joking around.  

Once everyone else left, we chilled as a family and watched, The Santa Clause.  It was fun.  Then we all went our separate ways... Now I am here in my bed with my new TV and DVD player.  

Sadly though, I have found out that my good friend Danielle's mother might have pneumonia, or lung cancer.  The doctors are not sure yet.  :/  So Please keep her in your prayers!  The more the merrier!!

So That is this Christmas. I hope you have had a blessed and happy Christmas. 

Merry Christmas!

I hope everyone is continuing to have a wonderful Christmas.  :)  

Today, so far, My family got up at 630 and unwrapped our presents. 

Some of the notable things I got were a dvd player, a TV, clothes, scarfs, TOMS, the Hunger games DVD, and  a mocking jay pin.  

The TOMS are red with white polka dots.

via

 They look like that... but not blurry.

They're interesting to say the least.  :)

Next, my family cleaned up (minus my mother) and went to church at the cathedral.  We sat next to some of our family friends and it was nice. Got home, cleaned, and now I am just relaxing before our family comes over at two.

Until Later!

It is Thursday

It's the Thursday after Frankenstorm/the perfect storm/Hurricane Sandy

It's crazy all the destruction that was caused. 

My prayers are with those who were affected with the storm.
 I'm sure you have seen the photo's of the damages. they are breath taking.





Not to make light of this, but life still goes on.

And now more than ever it is good to be thankful for what we have.

So once again,  Thankful Thursday.... here we go!  :)

I am thankful for...

• Living in the midwest.  While the wind and rain did become harsher, it wasn't that too bad at all.  Tree's were toppled over.  Lines down.  It's crazy.  But I am thankful that everyone is doing well.  Hopefully everyone you know is also doing well.
• Having gone to Pittsburgh this past weekend for the AIChE (American Institute of Chemical Engineerings) Student convention.  I had a blast and now know a few of my classmates a whole lot better.  Which is great.  :)  
• For now knowing how to spell Pittsburgh.  I used to spell it pittsburge.  which is very, very wrong.  Its Pittsburgh.  :D
• For being able to paint my nails.  this is my latest creation I did in preperation for tomorrow!

 

•  Being asked out by a boy!  Who isn't in my classes.  it's nice to feel wanted.  And i'm willing to see where this goes.  Who knows?  It's something I needed.  
• I also had an interview with a company called Lubrizol and while I think the interview went well, I didn't get the internship.  :(  But life goes on.  I was very relaxed in the interview and thought it went well. Next time.... Next time. 
• Friends
• family.  My brother might have lime disease, which is like mono in the fact that you can only tell if you have had it in the blood test.  Not if you currently have it ongoing.  but that might explain his medical mystery.
• Having had so many opportunities.  they have helped me become the person I am today. 

How Do You Find the Mole Fraction?!?

Well,  Because I'm an idiot, I cannot remember how to figure out how to do a mole fraction.  Which is what my physics homework was having me do.  For the one book problem we were assigned.  And I cannot remember how to do it properly.  :(

But I know how to guess and check to figure out the percent of Boron10 and Boron11 in naturally occurring Boron. (which is a mixture of the two, by the way.)  So that is how I solved it.  Which means all the math on my paper is useless...  but who cares.  :)  I have it finished!

Well.  Minus the part where I have to figure out if the differentials are exact.  I'm very unsure how to do that and don't want to do a bunch of work for nothing, so I will wait and ask my friend Danielle who is also in the class how she went about doing it.  Then I'll do it correctly!

Additionally:

I know this past Saturday I might have seemed negative, or boo whoo my life sucks-ish,  but that is not what I wanted it to appear as.  It is just what is going on in my life. And I'm ok with my mental issues.  I am pretty good.  I am happy.  Even my therapist says I seemed different, a good different.  Which she agreed it was due to me be happy.

But this weekend and past week were a good reason to be negative. 

About a week and a half ago, my Grandma started falling.  She first fell and hit her back against this plastic case on the ground.  and then fell out of bed another night.  Last Tuesday they (my Uncle and Grandma) went to the ER to get her checked out.  The doctors X-rayed her back, and it was fine.  But last Thursday she fell coming out of the bathroom on the change from tile to carpet, and apparently broke her pelvis. She was ok that night, and went to bed,  But in the morning she couldn't get out of bed.  So my uncle called 911 and they took my Grandma in an ambulance to a hospital.  They determined that she broke her pelvis in two places, and finally figured out how to manage her pain meds to give her relief.  Sometime either today or tomorrow, she will be transferred to a Nursing home to be able to sit around and relax and heal.

My dad was supposed to be released from the hospital on Saturday after having being admitted on Tuesday of last week for his very last round of Chemo!  But he ended up getting a high fever,  and convulsing,  called rigor,  where the i sounds like a hard i.  Like I am going to the store. So it was determined thru some blood tests that my dad's port (where they put the drugs in strait to his heart) was infected and the infection has spread thru his whole body.  So they have him on three antibiotics.  It is a good thing they were easily able to determine what the problem was, and of problems to have, this is one they know how to fix.  Additionally, because this was his very last treatment, they are removing his port today to prevent further infections. He should be coming home later this week.  Probably Thursday or Friday,  because they need to finish the IV antibiotics (they will be done Tuesday night) and then I'm betting Wednesday is the last day he'll have a fever, then Thursday he will have as his 24 hour normal control time  making sure nothing else goes wrong.

So there's an update on my life!  :)  I will keep you informed, and thank you for reading!

I have to go program now, because the lab finally opened.  YAY.

(not yay)

September Birthdays

So This post is posted at the beginning of September because my family has a large volume of September Birthday events.

This is a photo of everyone who has their Birthday in September.

From left to right, in the standing room only...haha...  Is my mom (the 19th), my Great Aunt Doris (I have no clue when her's is), My cousin Tom (the 8th).  In the chairs, Is my Uncle Jim (the 27th?), Me (the 23rd), My sister Veronica (the 14th), and our cousin Maxx (the 29th). 

There is also my parents anniversary on the 15th.  But that isn't a birthday.  :)

My mom Makes us take pictures  so often.  You can see we're a bit annoyed.  But we still play along.

And Here is V making a face. :)  they make everything so much better.  You will  see more of those. I am sure.

Last Friday Night...

Last Friday night... aka last night...  Was my high schools first football game of the season!

I helped my dad get ice from a Hall near our house so that we can ice down the drinks for the band. 

He went to the high school to ice the drinks,  and I went home.  I watched a bit of a movie, and then left shortly after my mother and brother left.  Upon arrival,  I ended up helping out in the concession booth:  installing the brackets into the coke machine,  opening candy packets,  and moving different stuff.  ;0

Once enough people were there,  I left because I didn't want to get trapped doing the jobs inside  of the booth for the whole game.  I wandered around a bit.

Eventually I changed into some jeans instead of wearing my junky short shorts,  so i looked more like a real person.  The band marched into the field,  and went thru the parent parade.  It was cute.  The parents and family lined up alongside where they would walk and clap and holler when they enter the.. arena?

the game started,  going well.  I helped out a bit.  Talked to some different people.

Half time Rocked.  The band sounded amazing.  per usual.  :)

I eventually tried to explain to my uncle this meme:

I mean,  this is referencing the lion king.  Clearly.  Who doesn't know that?!?

But Trying to explain it to my Uncle Dave....   I felt like this:

He just didn't understand.... it was so annoying!!!

Then I went home after the game and watched a couple movies.  chilled out.  Half slept a long while.  So.  That was funnish.  :)

Guinea Pigs

As Promised, Here are the pictures of my brothers guinea pigs.

I made my brother give my the phone number of the vet, and I called them up and an hour later we were on the way to the vet.  They are so click and efficient when clipping their nails.





This is Lucy in her bin.


And again Lucy in her bin.


This Is Sherman (like the tank).  I didn't realize i didn't get his whole head in the picture so...

 Here is a picture with his whole head!  :)

They are so cute and nice and cuddly.

People came into the waiting area and admired them. thinking how cute they are.
But now they have short nails and are as well as ever.  :D

Snow! :)

 Now that its mid-August,  the heat is starting to get to be too much (I know it isn't terrible,  but I love fall so much!)

So here are some pictures of when we came home after church on Saturday.  My mom wanted to take a picture of the three of us to see how tall the pile of snow was. 

In this picture you can see my dad shoveling (kinda) in the background.  The shoveling is the shovel in teh back. My dad always shovels even when there is just a wee bit of snow on the ground so it doesn't ice up.  And when it is snowing, every so often he will go and shovel to keep it from piling too high and making it terribly hard to lift then.

 ^clearly we were totally ready for that photo.   And wanted to do that....

^This is the picture of the three of us, Jack, Veronica, and Myself. It isn't great.  But We were forced to do that.  It made my mom happy.

:)  That is all for now

Pictures?! Washington DC

I have been looking at pictures more.  And decided I would like to write about them, while I can kinda still remember what was going on that day.  I might do a photo dump.  Or just post a pic and tell you about it.  :)  We shall see!

It's more like a filler post when I don't quite have things to talk about.  So sorry in advance if you find those boring!  But you'll get to see some lovely memories of mine!  and some fun times I have had.

But we shall begin with one.

 

On our way back from Virginia, My mom wanted to stop in DC.  So we did. 

I just think this is a cool picture, with the capital and the clouds.

I think this was the summer after 10th grade. So in '07

Wow.

Wow.  

This has been quite the week. Very stressful, and sadly mournful.

My Uncle died last Sunday night, the 22nd of July.

It has been really rough.  We just found out today that he basically died from organ failure.  His spleen shut down on Saturday, then  apparently his kidneys were having trouble and there were blood clots in his lungs. 

It was so sad.

It all started in April 2011 when his intestines were ruptured.  So he was literally filled with shit.  He got life flighted, well tried to fly him.  They had to get a second helicopter because the first one was broken.  Got him over to UH and cleaned him out, opened uhiim up.  then they kept performing rinses on him to help keep the area clean, and as things began to calm down, they were able to rinse more of the nooks and crannies

From then on they kept doing some different procedures to help keep him healthy and to begin to get ready to reassemble him.

June 25thhe finally underwent the operation to put him all together!  and sadly it didn't work out. :(

So my family and I have been hanging out with our cousins and my aunt.  helping them thru everything. They really appreciated it.

It is kinda fun learning more about them.  They're really fun to hang out with. :)
 

Celebrating the America's Independence

 At the beginning of this month, 'Murca celebrated its Independence Day!  :)  aka the Fourth of July.

 My celebration began even before the month did! haha...

The 30th of June, we had our family party.  Which was very well attended, over 100 people.
There were some fun times to be had, like volleyball.  And some times that were fun to make fun of.  Like my 40+ year old cousin  drinking so much and then vomming.  Which was mildly hilarious, I thought.  But life goes on.  :)

Sunday was a pretty chill day,  Just  hung out and  cleaned up  Then Later in the day, Cassidy and I ended up going to a shopping center that was having a celebration for the Fourth of July where the Cleveland Pops were playing!

While trying to figure out where to sit, we saw a line of people going into this fenced off area with a bunch of chairs inside of it.  we thought it was first come first serve.  After having waited a bit, we finally got to the front of the line... where they asked for our bracelets. Which we didn't have one.   womp.  But they but us off to the side, because there would be plenty of chairs left over after all the bracelet people got in.  Once the front half was full, we were led around and entered to the seating area behind the stage, where we got an awesome behind the stage look at the orchestra.

haha...  But it was cool watching everyone play in the percussion section.  :)

oh!  the reason they were passing out bracelets is because they had a goal along with everyone enjoying the Pop's........  they wanted to break the world record of most people wearing sunglasses at night!   So we got a pair of sunglasses.

During all these songs you can sing along with ( you know those different partiotic ones)  And wore them while we sang.  For 10 minutes.  Ending with God Bless America.  So we wore them the whole time

But During the time they played, they recognized the different people who have served, or are serving, in what I thought was a clever manner.   They had a melody where they played each of the branches song, (Navy - Anchors Aweigh; Air Force - Army Air Corps; Marine - The Marines' Hymn; Coast Guard - Semper Paratus;  Army - The Army Goes Rolling Along) and had the people of each branch stand as their song was played.  Ironically, the guy next to me was in the Air Force, and he had this awesome shirt on.  It said all over the back, Who is John Galt?

I was so stoked.  It was so amazing.

For those of you don't know, its a quote from one of my favorite books, Atlas Shrugged, by Ayn Rand.

 But yes, the Orchestra was so amazing to listen to.  I loved listening to them.

Afterwards, when they were shooting off fireworks, it was amazing.  They were literally being shot over our heads.  So all the cardboard packaging rained down upon us, and Cassidy caught a Piece!

This is Cassidy with her piece of Firework she caught!


It was so amazing!  And they had music playing along with the fireworks, so that just made it so much more fun to sing along with. 



On The actual fourth of July, I had made cupcakes out of funfetti mix and frosted them.  We brought the two boxes of cupcakes into the hospital and shared them between the 3rd and 4th floor nurses.  They really enjoyed them.  We hung out with my dad there for a long while, then left at like 730 and went home.  My mom stayed and watched fireworks with  my dad and some nurses from an empty hospital room on the other side of the floor.  She had fun.  My brother, Jack, didn't want to go see them in our hometown.  I ended up going and finding Emma who was working a concession booth in the local park where the Fireworks were being held. Employees are not allowed to be in the building while the fireworks were being set off. So it worked out I had brought my blanket with me.  Emma and her co-worker ended up sitting with me and my blanket, finally relaxing after having to work all night with all those firework-watching people.

The fireworks were set off nicely,  it was fun to watch.  Then I ended up going home afterwards.

Overall it was fun times.

:)

 [wow, that took me forever to post]

Orchid

So my mother got an orchid as a thank you from Music boosters for being president for two years. 

I've been thinking about getting an orchid, for myself.  They are not that hard to take care of. 

Well, they are not that hard once you know how to.  :)  Which I have looked into because I want one.  

So basically I am super jealous of her.  Cuz I want it.  So badly.

Additionally, I re-fell in love with twitter.  Cassidy, Candice, Emma, Mara, and Matt all have one. 

..butttt Mara doesn't use hers. She's a silly goose.

Day 17 - Your highs and lows of this past year.

Well, the low would probs be with my dad's stuff.  

The high's i guess would be when I got to hang out with my friends.

Well, that was short.

Day 15 - Your favorite Tumblrs

So Instead of my favorite Tumblr, I will do my favorite blogger.  Which is my sister, even if she doesn't know that I follow her blog. Because I do. Secretly.  She doesn't need to know.  But its nice to know whats going on in her life.... when she does update her blog.  which is very rarely now.

And did  you know how easy it is to find her blog?  just google her name in quotes.  Super duper easy.

Day 9 - How you hope your future will be like.

I hope my future will be happy.  I hope I have my friends still, and my family will be healthy and happy.

Friday the 9th

So Friday I woke up around 8, but didn't go out till a wee bit later because I didn't feel like talking to my parents that much. Once I got up I had to interact with them.  Then play coordinate  my evening with Cassidy, (so fun).

Went to Class.  Had a sub.  He is pretty good, he reminded me of Ciric, So I am hoping to take a class from him sometimes.  It was nice to go over how to apply the momentum equation and find out pressure and such. 
Solidified the final details with Cassidy.

Took a nap.  Cuz naps are awesome and we were going to be out late.

Got ready [took a shower, dried my hair, then got dressed.  Didn’t have time for makeup, so started doing on my way to BW.  Finished my makeup in the car.  Somehow my eyeliner didn’t look like complete shit. A miracle I say.]  Arrived to BW and went to Akron with Cassidy.   We went to Subway to grab me dinner.  Cass finished eating her bar food.


Then we went to vortex, and saw many bands play.

·         The first band seemed like a high school band, this fact was exacerbated by the fact they seemed to think having a lot of feedback was awesome.  That was super duper annoying to listen to.

·         Then the next band i was particularly fond of. The singer sang nicely, but they liked to use screaming as the most popular way to communicate their lyrics.  But they all seemed well written.

·          The third band was called, Burning Down Broadway.  They were really good and apparently they’re becoming nationally recognized. They were enjoyable to listen to. 

·         The fourth was Vince’s (Cassidy’s…friend) band. His is called Turn Up the Stereotype.  They’re ok.  Nothing terribly special.

·         The fifth band, I LOVED.  It was called Cut the Ties.  And they were so loose when they played and just radiated fun, and did a most excellent job of singing. 

·         Sixth band was not good or bad, nothing really to report.

·         The last and seventh band was a Jesus-y band. That’s the reason they play.  Which is cool.  They were pretty good.  But it was like 115 when they started, so that wasn’t so awesome.

In between the sixth and seventh bands we took all their bands stuff to the van.  And we stood and watched the seventh band so we could bolt right after because it is so late.

Sometime in between the 2^nd and  4^th set I went to the bar to get a drink from the bartender.  He starts up a conversation.

“Enjoying watching your man play?”
“umm… I don’t have a man.”
“oh! I’m suprized”
“yeah… I’m just here watching my friend’s man play. And I really like listening to bands.”
“Had I known you were single, I would have started hitting on you then.”
“oh… well,  Thank you anyways.” J
*awkward goodbyes and exit to the other room*

So that was fun.

Additionally a guy in Vince’s band is super cute and I think he is super duper cute.  Though Cassidy says he’s a Jesus freak.  But who knows what that really means.

Another thing that happened during the evening is that Vince was an idiot and didn’t give Cassidy the attention she deserved for having made it out there and helping him out and driving him around and shit.   Which is justified.  So they were fighting via text. Which made it super awkward.  Which the awkward got compounded on the way back to BW because it was Cassidy, Vince, and me. So life goes on.  I made awkward conversation the whole way home to help keep Cassidy awake due to the late hour in the evening.  And I know it sucks being the driver in silence for a long ride.

When I got home, jack was just laying on the couch asleep.  So naturally I woke him up and told him to go to bed.  Then he naturally protested and said he wasn’t tired.  So I stood there and waited for him to go back to sleep.  And he did.  So I tried making him go to bed again.  He said he wasn’t tired.  So I went to the bathroom and when I came back, he was asleep. Again.  So he finally agreed to go to bed.

Silly jack.

So then I went to bed.