thurs

mom got me up.


cleaned my shit up
moved stuff around in the bathroom
hid things
watched tv
waited for the maid to come
colord a pic for tadj
(still have to maill...)
maid cleaned
ironed on more.
finished up the irioning
showered
went to corso's
yum
went to pakistan
got 30-  inches and wrong needles
gotta go tomrorow and get 30 more inches and different correct needles
maybe another book of paper.

finish iron on for good
recut everything
made sure it was square
layed out to look at it
one is missing
so i am going to put one in

wednesday - pi day

• wake up
• get ready
• go to emma's
• can't find phone
• in underware drawer
• art museum
• parking sucked
• door

• qualifications for emma liking painting
• water
• architecture
• two men
• animal

• Chicago talk
• go see stegosauris
• go to little Italy
• up and down the road
• parking sucked in little Italy
• found parking lot
• ate two dollars
• mama santa's
• drop emma off
• come home
• begin iron on onto the tee shirts

Tuesday the 13th

I woke up sooo late today!  I got up at 1130 and didn’t do much.  My mom was sick.  So I was forcing her to drink and such and eat. 

I basically didn’t do shit all day and had fun. 

I cleaned my room some.  It’s still a mess. 

Which I am finally ready to have a real clean, nice room. 

While I was chilling/cleaning my room, I solidified my plans with Emma to go to the art museum om Wednesday!  Yay!

Weird Sex Laws Final! :)

I had fun learning about all these laws, hope you enjoy reading about them!  :)

In Alabama…

· Sex toys may not be purchased.

· You may not seduce a “chaste woman by means of temptation, arts, deception, flattery, or a promise of marriage.”

· In Headland, no female wearing a nightgown can be taken for a flight on a private plane.

In Alaska…

· Moose are not allowed to have sex on city streets within Fairbanks city limits.

In Arizona…

· The State Supreme Court considereds it perfectly all right for women to go topless in public, since breasts weren’t deemed private parts.

· In Alexandria, Husbands may not have sex with their wives if their breath smells of sardines, garlic, or onion.

In Arkansas…

· Oral sex is considered to be sodomy

· In Little Rock, Flirtation between a man and woman on the streets may result in a thirty-day jail term.

In California…

· No partner may reach climax before the other during foreplay.

· Your animals cannot mate publicly within 1500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.

· In Bakersfield, if you are going to have sex with Satan, you must use a condom.

 · In Los Angelos, you cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.

· In San Francisco, If you are a prostitute, you do not have to make change for bills over $50.

· In Ventura County, your cats and dogs need a permit to have sex.

In Colorado…

· In Alamosa, keeping a house where unmarried persons are allowed to have sex is prohibited.

· In Durango, it is illegal to go out in public dressed in clothing “unbecoming” on one’s sex.

· In Logan County, it is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep.

In Connecticut…

· No “private sexual behavior between consenting adults” is allowed to occur.

In Delaware…

· Getting married on a dare is grounds for annulment.

· In Lewes, it is illegal to wear pants that are “firm fitting” around the waist.

· In Rehoboth Beach, you may not change your clothes in a vehicle, nor may you change into or out of a bathing suit in a public restroom.

In Florida…

· Two people cannot commit “unusual acts” together.

· You can’t have sex with a porcupine.

· A man cannot kiss his wife’s breasts.

· It is an offense to shower in the nude. 

· If you’re a single, divorced, or widowed woman, you cannot parachute on a Sunday afternoon.

· Oral sex is illegal.

· Only the missionary position is legal.

· If a prostitute is caught, they are given spending money, a five-year banishment, and a bus ticket out of town. (usually to DC)

· Unmarried couples may not commit “lewd acts” and lvie together in the same residence.

· In Daytona Beach, you may not molest the trash cans.

· In Miami, Men cannot be publicly seen in any kind of strapless gown.

· In Tampa, Women may not expose their breasts while performing “topless dancing.”

In Georgia…

· Sex between unmarried couples is illegal.

In Hawaii…

· You may only have one alcoholic drink in front of you at a time.

In Idaho…

· You cannot engage in any type of PDA for more than eighteen minutes.

· In Coeur d’Alene, you can make love while parked in your car.  The cops can’t walk up and knock on your window.  If they think sex is taking place, they must drive up from behind, honk their horn three time and wait approximately two minutes before getting out of their car to investigate.

In Illinois…

· It is mandated that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.

· In oblong, you cannot have sex on your wedding day if you are fishing or hunting.

In Indiana…

· No oral sex may be performed.

In Iowa…

· There is a five minute time limit to make out.

· In Ames, a man may not take more than three swallows of beer while holding his wife in his arms in bed.

· In Ottumwa, “it is unlawful for any male person, within the corporate limits of the (city), to wink at any female person with whom he is unacquainted.

In Kansas…

· In Wichita, one may be sent to jail for up to a year for making lewd comments over the telephone.

In Kentucky…

· In some townships, you cannot marry the same man three times.

· “No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she be escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club.”

In Louisiana…

· You may streak, so long as you can prove to a court beyond a doubt that you have no “lascivious intent.”

In Maine…

· There are no weird sex laws to be found. :(

In Maryland…

· In Halethorpe, you cannot smooch for more than one second.

In Massachusetts…

· Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.

· A woman may not be on top in sexual activities

· Women may not wear heels over three inches in length while on the common.

· In Boston, two people may not kiss in front of a church

In Michigan…

· A woman isn’t allowed to cut her own hair without her husband’s permission.

· In Clawson, It is legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.

· In Detroit, Couples are not allowed to make love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple’s own property

· In Detroit, Men are banned from “ogling” women while their car is in motion.

· In Kalamazoo, You may not serenade your girlfriend.

In Minnesota…

· It is illegal for a man to hook up with a LIVE fish.

· You may not sleep naked

In Mississippi…

· Men may not become sexually aroused in public

· A man may not seduce a woman by promising to marry her.

In Missouri…

· In Merryville, No woman can waste her natural waist.  Wearing a corset is illegal because “the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male.”

In Montana…

· In Bozeman, there is to be no sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown—if they’re nude.

· In Helena, it is mandated that a woman can’t dance on a table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two ounces of clothing.

In Nebraska…

· Couples sleeping at a hotel must wear the clean, cotton nightshirt provided by the hotel, even when they have sex.

In Nevada…

· Sex without a condom is considered to be illegal.

· Members of legislature cannot conduct business, while in session, wearing a penis costume.

In New Hampshire…

· Lingerie cannot be hung on a clothesline at the airport unless the undies are carefully hidden from prying eyes by a “suitable screen.”

In New Jersey…

· In Liberty Corner, if the horn acciedentally sounds while a couple is frolicking behind the wheel, the couple can face jail term.

In New Mexico…

· In Carlsbad, couples can have sex in their parked car during their lunch break, as long as the curtains are drawn.

In New York…

· Women may not be seen wearing “body hugging clothing.”

· Women may go topless in public, unless it is fro “business” reasons.

· You can be fined $25 for flirting.  The law specifically prohibits men from turning aound on any city street and looking “at a woman in that way.”  The second convictioin for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a “pair of horse-blinders” wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.

In North Carolina…

· It is an offense to have sex in a graveyard.

· If you and your lover register as “Mr. and Mrs.” when checking into a motel, then you’re legally considered to be husband and wife.

 · While having sex, you must stay in the missionary position and have the shades pulled.

· All couples staying overnight in a hotel must have a room with double beds that are at least two feet apart.

· Oral sex is considered a crime against nature.

· A marriage can be declared void if either of the two persons is physically impotent.

· In Charlotte, Women must have their bodies covered by at least 16 yards of cloth at all times.

In North Dakota…

· Women may not wear a hat to a dancing function, or while dancing because you may be jailed.

In Ohio…

· In Cincinnati, anal sex is prohibited.

· In Cleveland, Women may not wear patent-leather shoes—a man might see the reflection of something “he oughtn’t!”

· In Oxford, it is illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man’s picture.

In Oklahoma…

· If you get arrested for soliciting a prostitute, your name and picture will be shown on TV.

· In Clinton, you are not allowed to masturbate while watching two people having sex in a car.

In Oregon…

· In Willowdale, Husbands can be fined for talking dirty during intercourse, their wives can say whatever they wish.

In Pennsylvania…

· 120 men can live together, but if more than 16 women do, it is a brothel.

· In Harrisburg, it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth.

In Rhode Island…

· Any marriage where either party is an idiot or lunatic, is null and void.

· In Providence, it is illegal to wear transparent clothing.

In South Carolina…

· By law, if a man promises to marry an unmarried woman, the marriage must take place.

· It is illegal to give or receive oral sex.

In South Dakota…

· In Sioux Falls, every room is required to have twin beds.  The beds must always be a minimum of two feet apart when a couple rents a room for one night. It’s illegal to make love on the floor between the beds.

In Tennessee…

· In Dyersburg, Women are not allowed to call a man for a date.

In Texas…

· In San Antonio, there is to be no flirting.

· In Kingsville, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city’s airport property.

In Utah…

· Sex is allowed with an animal so long as you are not getting paid to do so.

· Marriage between first cousins is allowed once both parties are 65 years old.

· Sex with anyone besides your spouce is illegal.

· Adultery, oral and anal sex, and masturbation are considered sodomy and can lead to imprisonment.

· Polygamy is only a misdemeanor, as long as only the missionary position has been applied.

· In Tremonton, No woman may have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance.  If you’re cauht, the woman can be charge with a sexual misdemeanor and “her name is to be published in the local newspaper.” the man isn’t charged, nor is his name revealed.

In Vermont…

· Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth

· In Barre, all residents must bathe every Saturday night.

In Virginia…

· Oral and anal sex are illegal.

· You can only have sex in the missionary position.

· It is illegal for a man to have sexual relations if he is not married.

· Women may not be tickled.

· In Norfolk, A man may face sixty days in jail for patting a woman’s behind.

· In Norfolk, A women must wear a corset after sundown and be in the company of a male chaperone.

· In Romback, it is illegal to engage in sexual activity with the lights on.

In Washington…

· You can have sex with an animal like an animal, if it weighs less than 40 pounds.

· You cannot have sex with a virgin under any circumstance—including the wedding night.

In Washington D.C.…

· Engaging in any sexual position other than the missionary position is illegal.

In West Virginia…

· It is legal for a male to have sex with an animal so long as it does not exceed 40 pounds.

· In Huntington, Firemen may not whistle or flirt at any woman passing a firehouse.

In Wisconsin…

· In Connersville, A man may not fire his gun when his lover reaches climax.

In Wyoming…

· In Newcastle, Having sex in a walk-in meat freezer is banned.

Monday the 12th.

Upon waking up Monday morning, I checked my phone like every twenty-something and teenager does.  The little icon appears that says I have a missed call. Not unreasonable, some of my friends are known to drink on Sunday nights, drunk dials are acceptable.  At least they didn’t leave me a voicemail,  HATE voicemails, I thought to myself.

 So I unlock my phone and see who called me. 

It’s my freakin’,as Mara calls him, Lover boy. His name is mani. Let me tell you about him.

The previous Monday, the fifth of march, I was walking back from Fluids to my car.  On the way to my car, when I park in S1 I have to pass by the parking attendant because they have a construction fence  around any other normal rout to get out, without adding literally 10 extra block lengths to your walk. 

So I walk by the booth . He starts talking to me, and dumb me isn’t listening so I’m like, “What? Hello.”

“Hi. I wanted to ask ou earlier for your number but I didn’t get the chance.” 

“you want my number?”  (I’m thinking, ‘………..he wants my number? Is he for real? What? Is this really happening?’)

“yes I would like your number.”

“oh. Ok.” I start giving it, naturally he’s like wait!  I need a sec to pull it up on my phone.  Give him my number.

“you are single right?”

“es”

“do you go here? “

“yeah I do. “   no I just like to randomly park in a school parking lot and carry books and around for fun.

“oh  I do too.  What are you studying? “

‘I’m majoring in chemical engineering”

“Ok.  I’ve gotton my bachelors in [some engineering thing I forgot what specifically] and am getting my masters in [some other type of engineering].”

“oh wow how cool!”  that’s pretty awesome

“yeah.  Right now I am co-oping with Sherwin Williams right now.  This is my second co-op. Where do you live?”

Westlake’s a big place.  I can say Westlake. “over in westlake.”

“oh I work there! “

“Yeah, that’s where Sherwin Williams is.”

“no, I work at my uncles gas station there. “

……….shit shit shit shit shit shit…… “oh how cool”  I am never going into a gas station besides getgo and circle k now…. Damn it….

“yeah.”

“well I gotta go”

“talk to you later”

Upon arriving at my car  at 107 he texts me, “hey this is mani”  reasonable, now I know what his number is. He knows I am going to be driving now, I won’t text him right this second.

[now I will recount the rest of the texting bold is him. Regular is me.  Italics is thoughts]

117: hellooo   wow…. Really? You know I’m driving home or away at least right now. 

143: hey. I was dirivng home

144: That’s ok  

Lol I forgot to ask ur name babe

Really?  You forgot my name already?  How many girls have you been talking to this past hour?

147:Its Lydia.

148: Wow typical name

Wer r u from?

………..typical name?!?  WHAT! I do not have a typical name! How many times do you hear the name Lydia? Like  never.  Really?  You just called my name typical.  Wow.   And why can’t you text?  I know you’re from far away, but really?  How is it cool to type like this. I do not understand.  This does not compute.  I’m not going to text for a while.

148: Which country r u from?

Are you for real?  What kind of a question is that?  Why would you assume that I’m from somewhere else.  It’s a COMMUTER SCHOOL.

154: I’m from America. 

155: lol ok but ur name sounds Russian

Anyways I m from India

Oh cool. That’s kinda nice he thinks I’m from Russia.  Russia is cool. 

158: Oh how cool

159: Hw old r u ?

Not unreasonable, I was kinda wondering how old he was too. But I’m still going to make him wait for my answer.

 212: I’m 20.

Wow a pause before he responds.  That’s pretty awesome. Mixing it up.

217: Thad cool

I m 22

really? You can’t type.

218: That’s*

There we go.

That’s all I have to say.  He’s kinda weird so imam let this simmer out. 

229: U r so beautiful , gorgeous and pretty girl.

What the hell? What do I say to that?!? 

*I rack my head for another thing to say besides thank you.  I can’t come up with anything*

241: Thank you

Well.  At least I responded.  That’s just a mildly creepy thing to say to someone who you barely know.

242: hey I want to hangout with u

May b for a movie or a dinner or for a drink.

Ur choice.

I just told you I was 20.  I can’t meet you up for a drink  dummy.  I don’t think I really want to meet up with him.  I like someone a lot more decisive.

243: I like u and u r on my mind now

RED LIGHT RED LIGHT RED LIGHT.  WHOA.  CREEPY MUCH?!??!?  Wow.  That just went off the scale on the creep-o-meter.  We’re definitely done now.  Sorry dude, your ship has sailed and will never dock again.

456: Hey u did not reply

no shit Sherlock.  You were creepy, that results in no response from me…

614: Busy?

Not in the slightest… just sitting around. But im not going to tell you that!  You lost the privilege of being able to get a response from me.

So that’s the conversation from that Monday.

Wednesday…

854: hello Munna  :)

What the hell is munna?  I don’t want to text you too.  Maybe it’s an Indian nickname for girls. 

TO GOOGLE.

*googles munna….*

Pokemon reference.  What. A fucking pokemon is what you’re calling me?!?  Really?  REALLY. Really?   Wow.  No.  door has been locked now.

Friday….

1109: heyyy Munna :)

Nope definitely no longer going to ever contact you in any way shape or form.  You lose.

That's my creep.  The parking lot attendant of S1.

So this morning at 524 in the morning he called me.  Didn’t leave me a message, nor did he text me (thank goodness.)  So I’m super creeped out, and I have to shower and get ready.

  Instead of going to the zoo as I originally planned (because I get in free on Mondays),  due to the rain, I ended up going to my church and helped make the bread we use during church.  It was fun. Talked to a lot of people. Met some new ones.  Got to catch a lot of people up on my dad it seemed.  I also at the end ended up talking, well better said that I was listening to him talk, about his wife who recently passed that past Saturday.  He was saying how he has seen limbs severed and people run over in the war, but he never saw anything as awful looking as the condition he found his wife in.  Which is pretty terrible.  And he went on and on about all these stories, which were super cute and so sad.  

Here are a few:

                He was saying how the previous day (Sunday) he went out and got the paper and saw her car in the driveway and was excited that she was home.  And he went in and started looking for her.  But he then realized she wasn’t there.  :’(

                He would never go into her purse.  He would always bring her her purse if he needed anything out of it, or if she told him to get something out of it, he still would not go in it.  The first time he went into it, was to get her drivers license when the coroner came. 

                He also would always fill up her gas, so she never had to do that –ever. 

How cute were the last two stories?  (minus the sadness.)

So after listening  to him for 45 minutes, I ended up leaving because I needed to leave. 

Upon arriving home, I watched a strange movie called I want candy.  It’s a raunchy movie, which I am apparently partial to.  They’re just so much fun to watch.

Then It was time to fetch Jack.  When I was about to pull into the high school, there was a stupid cop sitting in the driveway to stop people from pulling into to the high school lot.  They don’t let anyone in there utnill about 315 to “protect” the handicap kids while they get on the bus.  Which I don’t get because they leave by 300 at the latest on the bus.  So I ended up pulling into city hall to fetch him.  It worked out perfectly that as I pulled up, he was walking out of the building.  Yay!

I got home, and ended up talking to Mara about what Mani did that morning.  She suggested blocking him.  Which You can’t actually block someone with Verizon, but there’s a cool 90 day block thing you can do.  Which I did to him.  Hopefully in three months he forgets about me.  Cuz I totally miss parking in S1.

I began watching star trek, the original series.  It’s pretty good.   But I only watched like 9 episodes so far.  There are wayyy too many movies to watch out there!  And you have to pay attention more during Star Trek episodes. They were watched while I was sitting in my family room with my family.   During that time, I finished formatting the sex laws, then printed them out and folded and glued them and added fun facts to the back cover.  Then I colored 8 (her favorite number) pictures.  All the while, I was taunting mara about how she would slap herself when she saw what I was sending Kristen, because she wanted it for when she travels and has all the sex.  Lol.  Once I finished, it was super late and I ended up going to bed.

Sunday the 11th

Today, we got up and went to church.  But, before I even got up, my uncle called cuz he has a cold. Awww… the poor baby…  but whatever.  We just went to church and it was chill. 

Then we had lunch at Red Robin.  It was yummy.  We have a normal server, and she didn’t ask where our grandma and uncle were.  Surprisingly.

Upon arriving home ended up chilling for a bit.  Watched some TV.  Then my parents decided to go on a walk.  But ended up talking to the neighbors instead.  Which is a good thing cuz the Timko’s came in early.  And they walked in on me sleeping on the couch.  Which was semi awkward, but life goes on. 
Watched pirates four, that was ok.  Nothing terribly awesome.  But ok. 
During pirates I began working on compiling weird sex laws to make into a book for Kristen because the other night I started telling Mara and she told me that Kristen wants a list for when she travels and, “has all the sex.”

Then I eventually got the hangover 2 and saw that.  It was pretty awesome.  And it was pretty awkward to watch with my parents, but life goes on.

I don’t think I did much of anything memorable. But that’s ok.