Story Time

Sorry I have been MIA.  Life's been happening.  Sometimes it feels like too much.  but then I think of this story.  :)



“Carry Your Cross”
by K.A. Phinney
There once was a man who was feeling very, very overwhelmed with his life and his division of burdens. He was consumed by the thoughts that his burdens were too heavy, too large, and too difficult for him to carry, and he was very upset with God for giving him a cross that he just couldn’t possibly bear.

At night, he’d tell God, “God, I can’t possible carry this cross anymore! My burdens are too much, too heavy, too large. It’s just too difficult for me, God. And I’m tired.”

And then he would wait and wait, but God just didn’t answer.

So the next day, the man was grumbling and waiting for his bus on the park bench when he overheard a woman explaining to her friend that there was a cross shop that specialized in burden replacement just around the corner. The man couldn’t believe his ears.

“Finally!” he thought. “If God doesn’t want to free me from my burdens, then I will.” So off to the cross shop he trekked, leaving the two chatting woman and the bus stop behind.

When he entered the shop, a friendly elderly man greeted him.

“Hello, Son. Can I help you?”

“Well, yes,” the burdened man replied. “This here cross I am carrying is too much for me to handle. It’s too heavy and too large. I hear you can help me with replacing it…”

“Well, of course I can. Just turn in your cross up here at the return counter, and then take a look around to find a new cross that you feel is just right for you. When you find it, bring it on up to the check out, and I’ll get you on your way.”

“That’s all?” the man thought to himself. So he left his cross with the elderly man and ventured through the aisles of the shop. Here and there, he would pause to closely examine a cross that caught his eye. One was flashy but much heavier than his last cross. Others felt lighter but were much too large, while others were both larger and heavier than the one he brought in to be rid of. So on and on it went like this until he noticed a cross hanging on the front wall he hadn’t noticed before.

He approached the cross and took it down from the wall. Compared to the others, it seemed lighter and smaller, although he couldn’t be sure. He inspected it carefully, practiced carrying around the burden in the shop, and finally determined it would do.

At the counter, the old man watched and waited patiently. “Do you think you found the cross for you?”

“Yes, I think I have. Of all the crosses in your store, I think I can deal with this one best.”

“Are you sure?” the old man asked.

“Why, yes. It’s the only one that seems to fit with what I can handle.”

The old man gave a knowing nod and smiled. He leaned over the counter and looked his patron in the eyes. “Son,” he said, “the cross in your hands now is the very one you came in with.”

Merp

So today.  Or yesterday too.  

My stupid partner just sits there while I program out our homework.  He has no clue what is going on.  He doesn't know what to do.  And he is going to attempt to analyze our data that we produced against an actual source (like not wikipedia).   Which I wasn't going to have him do because last time I had him analyze our other homework,  he did a terrible job.  He just restated all our values.  Then I woke up to the email with that information, and I got to retype everything and actually analyze all the data. That was an not fun morning.

And he tried to be helpful this week, within the past two days (sunday and monday)  but that was not helpful at all.  That really stunk. But I'll tell you the hilariousness of what had happened when I get home tonight and have my other phone with all the texts on it. :)

Now back to the grindstone!

Laters!

(haha I hope you get that reference!  ;) )

How Do You Find the Mole Fraction?!?

Well,  Because I'm an idiot, I cannot remember how to figure out how to do a mole fraction.  Which is what my physics homework was having me do.  For the one book problem we were assigned.  And I cannot remember how to do it properly.  :(

But I know how to guess and check to figure out the percent of Boron10 and Boron11 in naturally occurring Boron. (which is a mixture of the two, by the way.)  So that is how I solved it.  Which means all the math on my paper is useless...  but who cares.  :)  I have it finished!

Well.  Minus the part where I have to figure out if the differentials are exact.  I'm very unsure how to do that and don't want to do a bunch of work for nothing, so I will wait and ask my friend Danielle who is also in the class how she went about doing it.  Then I'll do it correctly!

Additionally:

I know this past Saturday I might have seemed negative, or boo whoo my life sucks-ish,  but that is not what I wanted it to appear as.  It is just what is going on in my life. And I'm ok with my mental issues.  I am pretty good.  I am happy.  Even my therapist says I seemed different, a good different.  Which she agreed it was due to me be happy.

But this weekend and past week were a good reason to be negative. 

About a week and a half ago, my Grandma started falling.  She first fell and hit her back against this plastic case on the ground.  and then fell out of bed another night.  Last Tuesday they (my Uncle and Grandma) went to the ER to get her checked out.  The doctors X-rayed her back, and it was fine.  But last Thursday she fell coming out of the bathroom on the change from tile to carpet, and apparently broke her pelvis. She was ok that night, and went to bed,  But in the morning she couldn't get out of bed.  So my uncle called 911 and they took my Grandma in an ambulance to a hospital.  They determined that she broke her pelvis in two places, and finally figured out how to manage her pain meds to give her relief.  Sometime either today or tomorrow, she will be transferred to a Nursing home to be able to sit around and relax and heal.

My dad was supposed to be released from the hospital on Saturday after having being admitted on Tuesday of last week for his very last round of Chemo!  But he ended up getting a high fever,  and convulsing,  called rigor,  where the i sounds like a hard i.  Like I am going to the store. So it was determined thru some blood tests that my dad's port (where they put the drugs in strait to his heart) was infected and the infection has spread thru his whole body.  So they have him on three antibiotics.  It is a good thing they were easily able to determine what the problem was, and of problems to have, this is one they know how to fix.  Additionally, because this was his very last treatment, they are removing his port today to prevent further infections. He should be coming home later this week.  Probably Thursday or Friday,  because they need to finish the IV antibiotics (they will be done Tuesday night) and then I'm betting Wednesday is the last day he'll have a fever, then Thursday he will have as his 24 hour normal control time  making sure nothing else goes wrong.

So there's an update on my life!  :)  I will keep you informed, and thank you for reading!

I have to go program now, because the lab finally opened.  YAY.

(not yay)

Day 27 - A problem that you have had

So, It has been a long while since I have attempted to finish this. 

But, I am finally ready to talk about a problem I have had.  I am depressed and have anxiety.  I finally got to the point where I needed help after all the build up of school and my dad's cancer.  So i got help,  And now i am able to deal with my problem, of dealing with my issue of my dad having cancer,  my family issues, and such.  :)

Sorry this is short.  But i just wanted to do this and get it out of draft mode.  and this sufficiently answers the problem.  :)

A Book?

So recently I read a book by Samantha Schutz.  It was called, 'I Don't Want to be Crazy.'

I'll type what's inside the little flap of the book, so you can understand what the author wanted to share about this book.

"The harrowing, remarkable true story of one girl's struggle with anxiety disorder.

This is a true story of growing up, breaking down, and coming to grips with a psychological disorder.  When Samantha Schutz first left home for college, she was excited by the possibilities--freedom from parents, freedom from a boyfriend who was reckless with her affections, freedom from the person she was supposed to be.  At first, she reveled in the independence--but as pressures increased, she began to suffer anxiety attacks that would leave her mentally shaken and physically incapacitated. Thus began a hard road of discovery and coping, powerfully rendered in this poetry memoir."

It was interesting reading how another person dealt with anxiety. As you may or may not know,  I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety!  :)  haha.  I mean that isn't terribly happy.  But I have gotten help.  I visit a therapist.  I think she's a therapist, and not  a psychologist or psychiatrist. I'm pretty sure she's a therapist at least.   Either way.  I talk to her about my life and figure out how to deal with issues and such and talk about my life.  It is helpful I think.  There are a lot of things that I just don't know how to talk about. And I don't have to make sense or worry about her feelings.  And I was put on some drugs.  Those help a lot.  Something about how they help balance hormones or something.  I don't know exactly.

I didn't see her for like a couple months (her, being my therapist.  I call her Janet.  Because that is her name.  and less weird when you mention it).    And She said this past week, I seem happier.  Which Is what i definitely feel. With having friends, and people to talk to during school,  and the change in my emotions, and being able to handle all my emotions better, or more appropriately rather than shutting down, and being able to recognize that what I feel is reasonable and not out of line,  adds exponentially to being happy.

But Back to the book.  It was nice reading about how Samantha felt about different issues.  And knowing I'm not completely insane with how I felt.  

It was a good read.  I could have lived without the fact that she smoked weed all the time.  But it is worth reading if you want to. :)

Thankful Thursday!!

Another Thursday, Another wonderful Link up with Natalie over at  A Moment of Wonderful.  (if you haven't checked her out,  you should.  I love reading her posts.  They're positive and welcoming.)  

I havn't posted since last Thursday,  and even then I said I was going to try to write something every day.  But that did not work out.  I got caught up with school and such.  

But you know what?

That is perfectly ok.  As long as I continue doing this once a week (thankful Thursday)  That is good enough.  :)

So, here we go!

• My cousins.  Not only are they wonderful people,  but my Cousin Tom bought a house from the bank........A foreclosed home! (I hope I spelled that right..)  But he's fixing it up and making it his.  I've been helping out a bit.  And its a good learning experience for me if/when I buy a home.  The different Issues that have arisen and how to deal with them.  Along with learning some skills.  It's been good.
• My Classmates.  They are very kind,  and helpful, and supportive. I probably would have failed this past homework assignment if it wasn't for them.
• Phones.  Good for talking on.  And texting.  And texting in class and joking around! and games.  And Internet.  And pictures.  And annoying people.  and keeping in contact.
• Matt. I don't know why he is still friends with me.  I often thank God for somehow making him put up with me. and all my dumb-ness.  And sillyness.  and ridiculousness.
• The internet.  It's a good place to share my thoughts and feelings. And find funny things.  And answers to my really dumb questions about my homework.
• You.  Thank you for reading this!
• Farmers Markets.  A great place to get a good lunch for cheap...er
• High school friends.  I had the pleasure of catching up with my friend Jenna yesterday,  so hopefully we will be seeing more of each other!
• Hospitals and good Nurses, and other staff members. My dad is currently undergoing his last round of Chemo!  And without the wonderful people who helped him,  and the nurses who talked to him every day and took care of him. (I will talk more about him another post)

 I hope everyone is having  a good week!  :)

Thankful Thursday

I am tired and school is just whooping my butt.  But I read this and it shows 60 different ways to improve your life.  One of the ways is to write a couple things you are thankful for each day.  And I figure this would be the perfect place!  :)  so hopefully next week there will be a list of things I'm thankful for from each day of the week.  

But this past week:

• my family,  thank goodness they are not crazy like some other families.  That would stink if my parents were crazy.  :)
• My friends.  They are amazing. 
• Supportive classmates.  Thankfully they're helping me thru school.  And hopefully i will be helping them.
• Solution Manuals.  They are so good  to check your answers with!!!  :)
• Knowing ahead of time how my partner is going to be when doing my homework.   And having so many people reach out to me. :)

September Birthdays

So This post is posted at the beginning of September because my family has a large volume of September Birthday events.

This is a photo of everyone who has their Birthday in September.

From left to right, in the standing room only...haha...  Is my mom (the 19th), my Great Aunt Doris (I have no clue when her's is), My cousin Tom (the 8th).  In the chairs, Is my Uncle Jim (the 27th?), Me (the 23rd), My sister Veronica (the 14th), and our cousin Maxx (the 29th). 

There is also my parents anniversary on the 15th.  But that isn't a birthday.  :)

My mom Makes us take pictures  so often.  You can see we're a bit annoyed.  But we still play along.

And Here is V making a face. :)  they make everything so much better.  You will  see more of those. I am sure.